Monday, July 26, 2010

Gödel's Theorem, And Why Nationalists Are Cunts

I cannae even verbalise this.

The digital bleating of hungry alarm clocks “Feed me, papa, now! Now!”, like ice-needles in the eyes and throat, trying to fit the round peg in the square hole, the automaton awakes, grumbles, hits clock, grumbles, pisses, grumbles, showers, washes teeth, grumbles and staggers into the daylight.

The ritual seems more and more ludicrous with every repetition.

It took longer to regain lucidity today than normal. I couldn’t shake the feeling that I’d somehow left the back of my head hanging open, like the old trapdoors in childrens’ pyjama bottoms. Pavement bubbling and breathing like a trip, every passing carriage a data packet, every road, powerline, footpath an information conduit. The train-tracks wouldn’t stop bending and flexing as i stared at them: couldn’t get the back of my head to close up. It felt like a whirlwind sucking ideas from the aether, like the pressure difference between inside and outside my skull was causing an unstoppable vortex. Plants waving like faces, each branch containing perfect fractaline copies of itself, time in microdots, birds singing encrypted rhythms, wireless communication you see, a nest of routers, every sense buzzing with unsuccessful DDOS attempts.

Temporarily at least. For the moment. I knew it would stop when I got to woyk because it always does: there’s something about an overwarm office, fluorescent lights and a low desk that has a decidedly anti-psychotic effect. Dawkins would popularise atheism so much quicker if he could only get more people into cubicles.

It went and goes and was gone. Numbers, data, numbers, manipulations, transformations, everything so meaningful within its heavily limited context. CHARACTERS 13 - 20 ARE AN 8 DIGIT RECORD IDENTIFIER. 21 - 22 A TWO DIGIT LOCATION NUMBER. 23 - 38 A CREDIT CARD NUMBER, 39 - 139 AN ALPHA NAME. WILL NOT ACCEPT $ / * CHARACTERS. BLACK != WHITE ETC ETC ETC

from the forums "WHAT IS THE REGULAR EXPRESSION FOR LOVE" lol stupid monkey

The mind disappears in a weird way...i feel like an instrument being played, reinvented ocarina (of course!) - the wind blowing through me, sound coming out of my mouth but I'm totally hollow. Phone ring "If we look at the doco, we see that there should only be one MEMHEADER record per transaction, but there are two. This is a defect. Also, this record has too much whitespace by one character. The cost is being truncated incorrectly. I will extract the records where BAL_VAR < 4 and we will re-spool."

Termite mounds.

(but just because something's mechanical doesn't mean it can't be alive)

And then it goes further, and suddenly one arbitrary context threatens to overwhelm another. He highlighted the agency's policy to pay its workers a minimum of $2 per hour even though "some are only productive for 50c". What the forking what?!?! KEY-PERFORMANCE-INDICATORS MUST BE MET, CUSTOMERS MUST BE SERVED WITHIN 60 SECONDS, BELT-TIGHTENING, THE S.M.E.'S HAVE RAISED A VALID ISSUE, COMPLIANCE TARGETS STIPULATED BY LAW, THIS IS OUR PROMISE TO YOU THE SHAREHOLDER, UP != DOWN ETC ETC ETC

The perspective changes, and with it "true" and "false". Perfect illustration of the importance of Gödel's theorem in understanding conciousness. How many cells whimper the moment before they commit apoptosis? But I digress. Nuerosis is schitzophrenia backwards - it's all an issue of humans out-of-context, so stuck in certain data manipulation rules that they forget who put the rules there in the first place. "I'm sorry, we just *can't* deliver the pizza to you - that side of the road is the wrong suburb" "some are only productive for 50c" "If you don't love God then you're going to hell" "We are protecting freedom" "But how can we know they're refugees if they don't have official documentation?"

what twisted, tangled beasts we be.

And suddenly anything becomes possible in the scariest way - the context of national pride overwhelms the context of "She's someone else's kid", "My Team vs. Your Team" overwhelms "If you're a Harris, you barrack for Hawthorn.", the fear of death overwhelms the enjoyment of life etc etc. Our conflicting emotions are just our brains trying to decide which context to impose on a situation. And like any repeated behaviour, the more often we use a certain context to understand the world, the easier it is to do next time, and this feedback loop makes things quickly go ass over tits. People become so entrenched in the ways they contextualise information that they become totally unable to relate to anything else.

habits solidify, analysis disappears and you're feeling vindicated for punching that fucker in the face. IT IS A FACT: I READ IT ON THE INTERNET.

I think I'm gonna take tomorrow off as a Mental Health Day.