Tuesday, August 24, 2010

do-si-do

network network network bee-hive dna swarms and rows of invisible walls, rows and rows of something or other.

i don't want to be a weirdo, i'm quite nervous about such a thing happening.
Nevertheless...

SIGH FOR THE FORTY-SECOND TIME SIGHHHHH

i find it quite bizarre. There's such a mass, a ginormous, congealing mess of people floating around on this tiny planet of ours. Moving, flowing, exploding back and forth, you may have seen them occasionally, they're fucking everywhere, inescapable and for the most part inconsequetial.

Nevertheless...

I always find it absolutely surreal how easy it is to come in such close proximity to someone physically, but have these supposedly impenetrable barriers keeping you so so far apart. It's the perfect opposite of jumping out of an aeroplane.

It's so weird! These glacially slow rituals of trust that need performing in order to actually *speak* to someone. At one end of the spectrum - the relative you *know* you could have amazing drug/party/wildness conversations with, and get drunk and have a hoot. However...relationship not at that point...these are the things which we must not say. Small talk acceptable, actual conversation not. A more extreme example - a random on the street you make flickering eye contact with, you know that in another reality you would totally connect, share more than you've ever shared with anyone else, understand each other perfectly, and maybe even end up together for decades, and together you could succumb to the slow cyanide death of jobs and mortgages. It's so romantic!

The sensation feels so far removed from an objective appraisal of looks, It's easy, almost automatic, to calculate height * face * bust * build to determine a Shagability Quotient. It's quite another thing to have your cells screaming in unison "This is important! This person is interesting! Do not doubt us!"

I wonder if this is something felt more keenly by those of us in 'alternative' circles. Fucked if most people you ever see look vaguely interesting to converse with, so when you notice someone who you imagine is similarly abnormal, the cells scream...

It's even more ludicrous because the barriers between people who you haven't been through the do-si-do of Greetings and Small Talk with are just as artificial as the assumption that The Person is going to find you in any way interesting.

I know this isn't new (it's officially an Old Condition), but it does clog my brain pipes with some regularity.

fine


xero

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